Transform Your Relationship Overnight
By Kelley Chappell, PhD 

You can transform a stressed relationship into a positive, loving relationship. A very common situation that many women face is being in a relationship with a man who is taking you for granted and not treating you the way you deserve to be treated. Perhaps he is withdrawing from you or you are doing all the work to keep the relationship going.

If you are in a situation like this you can turn it around. But you don’t it by “trying harder” to make it all work. You do it by focusing on making yourself happy, which shifts the energy in the relationship. The instant you shift your thoughts and feelings is the very instant that your relationship reality begins to shift. Here are four simple steps you can take to begin to transform yourself and the relationship.

Step # 1: Assess the Relationship

First, you need to really be honest with yourself and assess the relationship. If you are in an abusive, unhealthy relationship that really is not good for you, I encourage you to seek the help of a professional counselor and find a safe way to leave that relationship. Do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself.

Step # 2: Focus on You

The first step to being Happy in Love is always the same. The first step is to really love yourself. The next step is to focus on creating a life of your own that you love. The key to transforming a relationship is to transform yourself. I have a whole chapter in my eBook on how to really love yourself and a chapter on loving your own life that will show you how to do this. The most important thing for you to do is to focus on loving yourself and making yourself happy. Love yourself and all the relationships in your life will be transformed.

As you begin to transform, the relationship will begin to transform. A relationship is something that is co-created between two people. The dynamics that exist were created by the interactions of the two people in a relationship. If one person changes, the relationship will change. It can’t stay the same.

This is true not only for relationships with men but relationships with friends and family. As long as you act like a puppet on a string, trying to please a man or anyone in your life, they won’t treat you with the respect you deserve. Stop giving, doing and trying so hard to make it all work out and focus on yourself. The Instant that you shift your thoughts, feelings and behaviors about yourself is the very instant that people will begin to feel differently about you and treat you differently. It is fast, it is easy. It happens in an instant.

Step # 3: Focus on the Positive Aspects of the Relationship

Instead of focusing on the problems in the relationship, focus on everything that is good about the relationship. Make a list of all of your partner’s positive qualities and everything that is good about the relationship. Be grateful for everything that is going well. Instead of complaining because he was 15 minutes late coming home, thank him for remembering to stop by and pick-up the dry cleaning. Focus all of your attention on the good things and show appreciation for the things that are going well. You want to feel good feelings about the relationship. You want to experience feelings of love, peace and happiness in the current situation. The better you feel about yourself and the relationship, the better the relationship will become. You can’t be focused on “wanting” things to be different. That will generate negative thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that will perpetuate the negative cycle. Instead focus on everything that is good about you and the relationship so that you will create more positive experiences for both of you in the relationship.  

Step # 4: Don’t Tolerate Bad Behavior

If your man is being neglectful and not treating you the way you deserve. Don’t tell him he should treat you better. Show him how you should be treated. You do this by the way that you treat yourself. Don’t sit at home all night waiting on a man to come home or to call you and then lecture to him that he should have come home sooner or called sooner. Instead get out, go do something fun and enjoy yourself. He will find out that you are not going to tolerate bad behavior and he will shape up. 

To take the next step towards transforming yourself and your current relationship, you can instantly download a copy of my eBook and be on your way to being Happy in Love by clicking here Happy In Love eBook  

 “Love Yourself, Love Your Life and be Happy in Love”

Kelley Chappell, PhD